He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
