the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
