Whod you bang
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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