I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
