That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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