Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Randomize
