After last night, I could never be a politician.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
