There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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