How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
