This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
