You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
