I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i need an iv and a liver transplant
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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