her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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