K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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