um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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