we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Randomize
