hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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