i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
