Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
