im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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