did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
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