Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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