people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
im six kinds of drunk right now
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
