Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
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