She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
