Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
