You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
