Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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