I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
