I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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