Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
