How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
My ATM looks so different sober.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize
