I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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