Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
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