It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
