I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
