Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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