don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
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