I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
It's Friday. Sex?
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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