Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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