the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
