wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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