Only a mothe r could love this liver
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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