Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
