I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
