lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
