my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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