I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
