how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
