No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
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